It is. Fortunately, the line is such good one, and your homework help vignette has stayed with me; I've made it a point not to say "Math is hard" since then, and it actually kept me for a few hours after school, helping kids as they taught me how they'd learned to solve algebraic equations, and I taught them how I'd learned in high school. (Thanks for that.)
*flinch*. I remember watching the Barbie thing now. Yuck.
While I have many misgivings about the system of the school where I work, one thing that we've managed is taking some of the sting out of the hard so it no longer feels quite so bad. I think we've learned a lot, and it's clear that it's important to teach persistence as well as force it, I've been amazed at how many students have continued working even after they've failed 6, 7, 12 times. It was really, really rough at first; the frustration was palpable in the hallways, especially on Fridays, when kids got the whole day as unstructured work time; many made it clear that it felt like Fridays were designated to pounding their heads against the wall. Over time, they've come to develop strategies, their skin has thickened, and -- about online tests at least -- trying hard has eventually come to mean that one is on the way to doing it right.
I think that half the reason I love the idea of training montages, and why the US loves kung fu movies, is that we all actually know that what's hard is good. I think it's the allure of marathons and Tough Mudders, and the reason people keep going through all the different types of school that are hard and yet result in "good" careers.
But I think that's overly simplistic; I think you're right, that it's often so difficult to keep going that we sometimes get worse before we get it right. I can sometimes do it, get the "oh, it's hard? Good. You're probably doing it right," mindset with new (generally physical) skills like surfing or dancing, especially when I don't mind who's looking. I don't know how to foster that mindset in others, but I think the idea of the hard being a badge, or being what makes it great is likely a good start.
Interestingly, I think I must have read this four months ago today -- you posted it on January 6th.... and yet, the thing that's been hard for me in lots of ways has been getting myself to do stuff. Grading, planning, even things I like (like responding to you) -- they've gone on a list and stayed there while I waited for something. Very few of the things on my to do list have been hard; they've just been hard to motivate myself to do. My hard, recently, hasn't been in keeping going on hard stuff, but in doing stuff I don't feel like doing. For me, it's difficult to do the things I don't have a knack for, things I think I should already be good at, or the monotonous things I just really don't feel motivated to do. I only just finally caught up on my grading. It took having several wonderful conversations with people and exercising/eating better/etc. to recharge enough to even think about doing the monotonous, battery-draining things. I guess this actually just comes full circle; I can't yet think about doing the actual hard stuff because I feel like I'm so busy doing the uninteresting (and sometimes unimportant) boring stuff. Perhaps I shall start a positive and negative "minutes" counter of my own?
Anyway, I love you much. My Aunt KJ will be in town tomorrow, and then my mother gets in for Mother's Day weekend, but I hope to talk soon. Much love to Bear, snake, cat, and the search for the new treehouse. <3 & <3, ~k
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